How Much Inner Security Do You Have?

Please help me with my research!

Posted Dec 04, 2017

Source: Anthony/Flickr

I would like to enlist some help with some research I'm doing at my university. This is on the subject of ‘inner security.'

This research partly grew out of a blog I wrote about how we can make ourselves less vulnerable to feeling 'slighted' or disrespected. We all feel slighted when we're not given the respect we feel we deserve. Think about how you feel when someone forgets your birthday, or doesn't return your phone calls; or when you're not invited to a party which other people you know are going to, or aren't included in an important meeting at work. We often like to think of ourselves as altruistic, willing to offer help freely, but think about how slighted you feel when you give someone or lift or cook them a meal and they leave without saying thank you.

Watch yourself closely, and you'll probably find that you feel slighted in one of these ways almost every day - possibly even several times a day. Maybe a person didn't give you any eye contact when you spoke to them, or pushed in front of you in a queue. Perhaps you experienced rejection of some form, when your report was sent back for some more work, or a friend turned down an invitation.

Psychologists call slights ‘narcissistic injuries' - they bruise our egos, make us feel belittled. Ultimately, all types of slights boil down to the same basic feeling: of being devalued or disrespected.

I began to investigate the concept of ‘inner security’ when it occurred to me that high self-esteem is not necessarily a positive thing, as it can sometimes make people more vulnerable to slights. When self-esteem is fragile, it can be dangerous. One of the reasons why alcohol is so strongly linked to crime is because of its ‘self-inflating’ effect – it makes people feel more special and important, and so increases their sensitivity to slights. In other words, it can decrease their sense of inner security. 

In a general sense though, some people seem to have a stronger sense of inner security than others, which may be related to our upbringing, or to later life experiences. 

The Questionnaire

The purpose of the research is to develop a test which measures inner security, and to find out if it is linked to factors, such as age, gender or religion. I’ll explain more when the results of the questionnaire are in! It’s a very simple questionnaire with around 20 short questions. It should only take around 3-4 minutes to complete. It is completely anonymous and voluntary. No personal details are involved, and you are free to stop at any point.

The questionnaire is here:

Thanks in advance for your help!