Finding Balance When Things Are Out of Control

Have you ever said to yourself, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired"?

Posted Oct 09, 2019

Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t get your life together? Are there times when it seems like you can’t catch a break: As soon as one life issue gets resolved, another one pops in to take its place? Surprisingly, this feeling can be a motivator for healing, simply because you don’t want to feel like you’re falling apart any longer.

Have you ever said to yourself or expressed out loud, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”? Once that realization has taken root, there’s really no turning back. You know there’s a better way, and all you have to do is find it and stay on that path. This idea may sound simple, but it is not necessarily easy to master.

Using your willpower to change your behavior is not a new concept, though you may not have thought of exerting willpower over your own feelings. You have to honestly take on the responsibility; it has all got to come from you, and there’s really no one else you can blame. You are consciously choosing to stand on your own two feet and rise above what has been holding you down.

Your next step is to see if one area of your life is particularly difficult at the moment. If so, you will want to make resolving that dilemma a priority. But what if things are out of your control, and you have to wait for schedules to sync and everyone to agree, as in a divorce or a custody situation?

The thing that is vexing you is out of your control, which is why you can’t stop thinking about it. That’s the main cause of your upset—not the issue itself but the fact that you have no control at the moment. This happens to all of us in different aspects of life at some time or another, and having a little understanding of how to handle yourself can make the ride a lot smoother.

Admitting to yourself that a situation is beyond your control actually does give you more power. You can’t control what’s going on around you, but you can learn to control your emotions, and this is important to do, as the out-of-control feelings are uncomfortable and can lead you to act out in ways that may not serve you.

By working with your feelings and learning how to keep certain ideas from running amok inside your head, you are telegraphing the emotion of wanting things to be calmer to the others involved. It’s not some New Age trick: Our thoughts have energy, and those around us pick up on that energy. Anyone who has ever raised a family (or a dog) knows this.

If you can stay in a balanced place while the world is tumbling down around you, you will emerge from the fallout in a much better head-space. The other advantage of this type of self-reflection and discipline is that you will see much more of what is going on, which will put you in a better position to deal with whatever the outcome may be.

All you have to do, when you are feeling out of control, is calm yourself in a way that is healthy and practice feeling okay about yourself, despite whatever the issue of the moment is. It works, so give it a try.